Virtually everyone in our field knows about the wonderful book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. It focuses on everyday conversations and not just crystalized disputes. It describes how people can better understand what is (and is not) happening in their interactions, identify erroneous assumptions, … Continue reading Difficult Conversations in the Modern Era of (Anti-)Social Media
I think that one of our main missions in the DR field is to promote constructive engagement in conflict. We know that conflict is inevitable and it can be constructive and/or destructive. Often, when people are in conflict, it is very destructive and everyone just wants to end the conflict as quickly as possible while … Continue reading Touching Story of Relationship of Constructive Engagement in Conflict
In June, John Kiernan gave a talk in which he argued that the ADR field has reached a first level of maturity but “ADR remains far short of its full, what might be called ‘level two maturity.’” He gave the talk at a luncheon of Association for Conflict Resolution of Greater New York, where he … Continue reading How to Reach “Level Two Maturity” in Handling Civil Disputes
Money can’t buy me love. – Paul McCartney As a corollary to psychologist McCartney’s insight, money can’t buy lawyers (much) happiness. That’s one of the key findings of Lawrence Krieger and Kennon Sheldon’s impressive study, What Makes Lawyers Happy?: A Data-Driven Prescription to Redefine Professional Success. This post includes excerpts from this article, sans … Continue reading What Makes Lawyers Happy? – And How Can You Help?
Life can be darn irritating. In a NYT op-ed piece, Arthur Brooks argues that “When I am working for myself, any disappointing outcome is a stressful, unpleasant reflection on me. When I am serving, on the other hand, the work is always intrinsically valuable because of its intention. Adopting a service mind-set guarantees some measure … Continue reading Satisfaction Through Service
Recently, I was asked to write a post for a state bar association blog with highlights from my article, My Last Lecture: More Unsolicited Advice for Future and Current Lawyers. Then I thought, heck, I should post it here too. Understand Your Clients’ Interests. Lawyers often assume that they know what their clients want–to get … Continue reading Tips for Lawyers Who Want to Get Good Results for Clients and Make Money
I can’t resist commenting on Andrea’s lighthearted post showing a sign at a Starbuck’s with President John F. Kennedy’s famous statement, “Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate!” This reminds me of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s statement, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I … Continue reading Fear and Negotiation
A short piece in the New York Times by Harvard economists and Yale psychologists has a suggestion that may surprise you – or maybe not – about people’s motivation to cooperate. The authors focus on the “tragedy of the commons” which is the situation “where individuals acting independently and rationally according to each’s self-interest behave … Continue reading Why Cooperate?