Remember when we used to lament the fact that there were no mediation tv shows? Well we had Fairly Legal which was farcically formulaic and often a bit silly. Now we have Untying the Knot, a new reality series on the Bravo network. The show follows New Jersey divorce attorney-mediator Vikki Ziegler as she “mediates” property division issues for divorcing couples. The reason for the quotes? Here’s why – from the show’s website summarizing the series:
When couples go from “I do” to “I don’t,” Vikki Ziegler is who they call to mediate, advise and divide their assets out of court. Each 30-minute episode features a different divorcing couple struggling to divvy up their belongings that range from dazzling diamonds to the family pets. Expert appraisers Michael and Mark Millea evaluate the items in question and help Vikki determine a fair division of assets. Why let a judge decide your fate when this “Divorce Diva” can cut through all the drama to determine who will get what?
Obviously having the mediator “determine a fair division of assets” doesn’t sound like mediation; Ms. Ziegler is engaging in early neutral evaluation (ENE). But ENE has gone the way of Betamax and is so confused with mediation that it’s not worth the time to fight it. In fact, I’ve seen and heard of many well respected mediators engage in such behavior. So, let’s hope that this practice does not become what the public expects from divorce mediation, as this clearly limits the good that mediation can do in divorce. Nevertheless, clips of the show are going to be great for class this fall when we discuss facilitative and evaluative mediation styles.
I’ve watched all of the episodes that have aired to date (thank you DVR), and the show’s formula is simple – meet the divorcing couple and the property in dispute, the appraisers give their valuations of the items to Ms. Ziegler, and then Ms. Ziegler meets with the disputants and awards (yes, that’s the term she uses) the property and any corresponding financial offsets to the disputants. I find the show to be interesting mostly because the emotion of divorce is on display – you can really feel for some of the couples. Other interesting aspects include when Ms. Ziegler pushes a disputant and when disputants negotiate off of her evaluation. I could do without some of the witty-made-for-tv banter about the parties and/or their possessions from Ms. Ziegler and the appraisers, but I’m sure the producers love that kind of snarkiness.
Enjoy or cringe watching the show, but do use it in class – it’s going to be a great teaching tool.
Mr. Hinshaw is on-point with his analysis of the “Untying the Knot.” The show very much appears to be a cross between early neutral evaluation and arbitration, more so than it does true mediation. That said, I can see the benefit of the show for teaching facilitative vs. evaluative mediation styles. As a student in a mediation clinic, I have recently had the opportunity to observe several family law divorce mediations. The reality of divorce mediations is that they are never easy, they are very emotional for the parties involved, and that it takes a high level of emotional maturity to serve as an unbiased mediator under these circumstances.
What this show probably illustrates well is the distributional problems of a divorce mediation. While the distribution method is highly unorthodox, with the “mediator” placing valuations and making recommendations as to how the assets are distributed, the emotional states and interest based decisions of the clients are real. In the real world of divorce mediation, the sentimental value often trumps the monetary value, and a good mediator can help the parties get past these hurdles.
This show would be better off if it rebranded itself as something other than “mediation” because of its heavy handed evaluative and arbitrative style. In a true divorce mediation, the parties are able to come to agreements outside of the bounds of statute, which may fit their individual situation better than a forced judicial resolution. Divorce mediations are essentially the dissolution of a marriage contract, but also the formation of a new contract to remain apart as amicably and as creatively as the parties can imagine.
I had never heard of this show before reading this post, so I decided to watch an episode… Let me just say, this is the perfect show if you want something that is completely funny because the people in it are so out of touch with reality. In the episode I watched, the couple thought they had a foreign leaders passport that was worth thousands of dollars. After being appraised it was worth nothing.
While this show is funny (in its own way) it makes me concerned about how viewers will perceive divorce mediation and asset division.
I have a radio talk show entitled “The Mediator” on AM1240 WGBB on Long Island. Every Saturday at 7:30pm. I had Vikki on as a guest a few weeks ago and we were able to discuss briefly the evaluative process she uses and its effectiveness. As stated in this blog, I am sure this is done for TV purposes and agree does not shed any possible positive light or reality as to the real mediation process.