Job Interviews, Offensive Questions, and Effective Responses

In my final ethics class last week, as we were ending the course with some discussion on how to choose law firms, balance life and work, etc, we also discussed how to deal with zinger/illegal/offensive interview questions.  The problem in the book was a classic–what would you do if the partner interviewing you for a job asked whether you planned on starting a family in the next few years?  I was delighted with the response of the student on call who suggested several different options:

Deflect: “Right now, my career is my primary concern, and, as I mentioned before, I am really interested in your firm because….”

Ignore:  “I really love your shoes!  Are those Jimmy Choo’s?”

Flattery (another type of deflect): “You are very clever, but I see what you are doing! You’re checking if I was paying attention in employment law.”

Based on negotiation literature, I would add two other possibilities just to have a complete list of options:

Confront (only to be used when you have decided you do not want the job):  “Are you allowed to ask that?” or “I’m not sure how that is any of your business!” or any other fun, but likely interview-ending response.

Engage (also to be used carefully and with a truly curious tone): “That’s an interesting question.  Is there a right answer to that?” or “Can you tell me why that is an important question in this interview?” or something like that.

We talked about this more in class and then, within 24 hours after class, another student emailed me that, sure enough, he’d just been asked in an interview whether he was married.  Wow.

I talked more to my career services dean to find out what is going on and the news, as always, is mixed.  In general, he thinks that most law firms know that certain types of questions can’t be asked and, that if there are any inappropriate questions, they are not firm-approved and quickly shut down.  On the other hand, with the economy as it is, there are some firms that feel they can get away with asking more inappropriate questions.  So I asked for a list of some of the most offensive questions.  You can all view this (a) as a good break from writing, grading, or taking exams; (b) a warning of what you hope never to run into; and (c) some food for thought in using negotiation techniques to deal with these questions.

Here you go (and please do remember that I am not making these up–actual questions!)

Family questions: Are you married? Do you have a significant other? Are you living with anyone? Is that a wedding ring? Do you have any kids? What is your significant other going to think about you working this hard? You are obviously young and fertile–are you planning to have children? How do you think your husband is going to feel about you working in a firm full of men?

Age/Religion/Ethnicity: You look like you’ve been around the block a few times–how old ARE you? What year were you born? What holidays do you celebrate? What kind of last name is that–Indian?

Just plain icky: How do you feel about office romance? If you were a porn star, what would your screen name be? If you could have sex with a cartoon character, which one would you choose and why?

Please feel free to use the comments to add your own experiences and give potential responses (both effective and/or funny).  As they used to say in Hill Street Blues, “Be Careful Out There.”

One thought on “Job Interviews, Offensive Questions, and Effective Responses”

  1. I’m fascinated that a male student was asked if he was married! We have come so far that men are now afflicted with the same kind of unreasonable questions with which women have dealt for so long.
    I am reading “When Everything Changed: The Amazing Journey or American Women from 1960 to the Present” by Gail Collins, and this post dovetails nicely with the development, and lack thereof, of society’s views of women in the workplace as Collins explores them.
    Interesting stuff.

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